LGBTQ Loss

For and By Members of the LGBTQIA community grieving the death of a loved one. A resource conceived, developed and launched by Volunteers of the public non-profit My Grief Angels - MyGriefAngels.org

LGBTQ Loss is a comprehensive online resource tool created for and by members of the LGBTQ community grieving the death of a loved one.

We provide a safe and inclusive space for individuals to find support, access resources, and connect with others who understand their unique experiences.

Remembering Friends

Remembering our friend Mark Bingham:

"I had only known Mark for only a few weeks prior to 9/11, but in life, we are sometimes fortunate to have the opportunity to meet people that teach us about the importance of the moment - this moment.

He had just moved to NYC, and we were both on the usual crowded Friday afternoon train to Fire Island for the weekend.

I was deep into reviewing a work project I had to provide comments on by that evening, when suddenly a very tall shadow (6'5") of a figure blocks the light on my reading, and said:

"If I were you, I would not be wearing that red university sweatshirt in public",

and as I look up with no clue what this person was talking about - I realized he was wearing a bright yellow UC Berkley Sweatshirt which was our university's lifelong rival in sports in the San Francisco area. At which point, I responded "I need to get my sunglasses because your bright yellow sweatshirt is blinding all of us on this train".

A conversation started about the sports rivalry, and minutes later, Mark had close to half the people on our train talking and laughing about sports rivalries, and why we should all start playing rugby.

In a moment, Mark turned a long crowded train ride with LGBTQIA and Non-LGBTQIA riders into a fun and memorable inclusive conversation among new found train friends; including friends that had no clue what rugby was.

I tried setting up Mark with a good friend that evening, and while it did not become a long term relationship - they had fun in the moment, and it was that friend that called me on 9/11 to say how sorry he was to hear about Mark - that was how I found out about Mark's death.

Mark was the last person to board the plane UA 93 that went down in Pennsylvania and he was part of the group of passengers that broke into the cockpit - that was Mark - making the most of every moment; even his last.

On this 9/11/2024, Our thoughts are with his family, friends and teammates at the San Francisco Fog - https://www.fogrugby.com/about

"San Francisco Fog Rugby Football Club is the first gay and inclusive rugby club on the West Coast. Founded in 2000, the Fog has the vision to be the preeminent rugby club in the world that actively pursues the participation of people of color, gay men, and other groups traditionally under-represented in rugby."

https://www.therugbyjournal.com/rugby-blog/mark-bingham

"A year later, the Bingham Cup – the World Cup of gay and inclusive rugby – was established to honour his memory and it has become the world’s biggest amateur rugby tournament...

Bingham’s story and the tournament that bears his name, has encouraged hundreds, if not thousands of people from the LGBT+ community to play rugby...

“The fact that he has been able to change so many opinions and, you know, be that hero to that little kid who isn’t going to play sport because they don’t want to be teased or bullied, or to the one person that comes out to their family and doesn’t live in fear of who they are or didn’t commit suicide: you know those things are just extraordinary,”

Documentary Trailer:

"The Rugby Player"

https://youtu.be/3IhSM3OMZ-o

https://www.nps.gov/people/markbingham.htm

Remembering our friend and

long time MyGriefAngels.org volunteer

Mark Montgomery

Mark woke up and on the way to let the dogs out - found his long term partner and spouse on the floor. He tried repeatedly to revive him while calling 911, but even with all the medical training he received in Dentistry school - nothing worked. Mark could not believe this was happening and he has always thought because he was older than his partner, it would be him, Mark, to go first.

Only a few weeks later and still trying to cope with his grief, he became a volunteer with MyGriefAngels.org and managed the group's X (Twitter) account; helped develop this site; collaborated on books reviews with the host of the group's Grief Walking Podcast, and played a key role in the creation of the first ever "Gay Grief MOOC (Massive Open Online Course)".

Even after dealing with a major personal medical emergency a few months after the death of his spouse, and then months later the unexpected death of his sister - the person who was his rock while dealing with his partner's death, Mark continued his efforts to try to help others dealing with loss; specially in the LGBTQIA community.

The day before he headed into corrective surgery, where he died from complications, he made it a point of calling us to make sure someone would take over his volunteer duties for a few days while he was in recovery. That was our Mark to the core.....